


Enough to Get Dizzy

by antijosh



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Holidays, M/M, also side note everyone is of age here so all the drinking is legal, but still, even though theres not that much drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-11 14:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4438613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antijosh/pseuds/antijosh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jihoon needs a fake boyfriend to get someone off his back and Soonyoung likes free party food. They think they have it all figured out, until they don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this took forever to finish but here it is!!! special thanks to bee, yana, and jackie for all their cheerleading/feedback. this fic would still just be an idea i got in the parking lot of a target if not for them ily my bebs!!! also s/o to my spouse tav and my kids of jisoonet ilysm. as usual i got the title from a song lol

Jihoon did not like the holidays. One of his nicknames among his friends at the office where he worked was the Grinch because of it. Unlike the Grinch, he didn’t really hate giving or happiness and joy and all that. He quite liked the happiness and joy bit. What he didn’t like was all the unnecessary fuss that came with the holidays, and the stress that followed soon after.  Which was why he really, really, really did not want to be sitting in a meeting with his entire floor to plan their annual office holiday party.

As the rest of his coworkers droned on about who was bringing which brand of chips and who was going to stay late the day before to decorate, Jihoon’s mind flitted back to the incident a few weeks ago and he groaned internally.  Ailee from HR had cornered him by the water cooler and started flirting aggressively.

“So,” she had asked. “Do you have a date to the holiday party? Because, if you don’t, I would like to go with you. I think you and I could have a fun time.” Her voice dropped low and seductive. She reached out and caressed Jihoon’s arm lightly, which made him cringe internally.

Jihoon had blanked for a moment, and stuttered out a “yes” way too quickly. “Yes, I’m going with someone,” he corrected himself, drawing back until her hand left his arm.

“Oh,” she replied, face falling a little. “Can I ask who it is?”

“My partner.” Jihoon winced internally at his own lie. He did not have, nor would he find in the near future, a partner.

“Oh, have you guys been together long?” she asked.

“Yeah, a while.” Jihoon shrugged.

“Well I look forward to meeting them. Make sure you introduce me!” She smiled as she walked away, still very chipper even though she had just been turned down. Jihoon had groaned out loud at his own compulsive lie—now he was totally screwed.

Seungcheol’s voice pulled Jihoon back to the present, just in time to hear that everyone was being dismissed, and that attendance on Friday was mandatory if they wanted to collect their holiday bonus.

“Hyung, did you pay any attention at all during the meeting?” Seokmin laughed as the two of them stepped out of the conference room and into the hallway.

“Doesn’t matter if I paid attention or not.” Jihoon shrugged. “I’m not going.”

“What do you mean you’re not going?” Seokmin squawked. “Hyung, it’s an office tradition! You have to go!”

“First of all, I don’t have to do anything.” Jihoon glared. “Second, even if I wanted to go, I couldn’t. A few weeks ago Ailee from HR kept hitting on me, so I lied and told her I was in a committed relationship to get her off my back. Then again last week, she came up to me and told me how much she was looking forward to meeting my partner at the party.”

“So? Just make up some bullshit excuse about why they can’t come.”

“Then she’ll just keep wanting to meet them.”

“Hyung, you realize you’ll have the same problem if you just skip the party, right?”

“…God dammit.”

“I have an idea, though,” Seokmin said.

“Please tell me its one of your ideas that actually makes sense this time,” Jihoon groaned, letting his head fall back and hit the wall with a soft thump.

“All of my ideas make sense!” Seokmin yelped indignantly.

“Sure they do.” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“Do you want to hear my brilliant plan or not?”

“Go for it, I’m desperate,” Jihoon sighed.

“Go to the party, but get someone to pose as your boyfriend. You won’t get caught in your lie, you’ll avoid Ailee, and I know the perfect person to be your date.”

“And who is that?” Jihoon scoffed.

“You know the intern Seungkwan?”

“Stop right there,” Jihoon interrupted. “I can’t use anyone who works here. With the way gossip spreads here, it would be totally unbelievable if I said one of these people was my date. Plus, Seungkwan has a boyfriend anyway.”

“No, not Seungkwan himself. Seungkwan works on a radio show after work, and I’m close with his coworker. He’s funny, hot, and into guys.”

“Would he actually be down for this though?” Jihoon asked, raising an eyebrow.

Seokmin nods. “He’s adventurous. Plus, he owes me one anyway.”

"I guess it couldn't do any harm to meet him," Jihoon mused. "Will you give him my number or something so we can meet up?"

"I can introduce you guys sometime at a party or something. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you have a way out. If it seems like it could work, then you can take it from there," Seokmin offered.

"Fine by me."

"We were thinking of organizing a little game night over at Jisoo and Junghan’s place tomorrow night How about I invite him there?"

"Sounds good," Jihoon said. "This better work out Seokmin."

"Trust me, hyung. It will," he laughed.

"Go do your work," Jihoon chuckled, gently shoving Seokmin away and down the hall to his cubicle.

Jihoon spent the rest of the day trying to come up with back up plans in case Seokmin's friend didn't work out. The party was exactly three weeks away from Friday, so he had time, but not enough of it to actually go find someone and get serious with them. That left lying, avoiding Ailee the whole time, or simply not attending. So far, not attending seemed like his best bet. However, he had his eye on a new microphone that was ten times better than the piece of junk he had now, but there was no way he could afford it without his holiday bonus that he would only get if he attended. He sighed to himself as he tried to weigh the possible benefits of lying with the consequences. He was in for a long night.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at work, Jihoon could say that he was feeling a little stressed. He knew that Seokmin was doing him a favor by going out of his way to give Jihoon an out. Despite this, he still felt anxious about the whole thing not working out. He knew he would probably have fun with his friends that night anyway, so he pushed his worries away to focus on that. He always beat Seokmin and Hansol in Cards Against Humanity, and he had to keep that streak. If he didn’t, they would never let him forget it.

When the late afternoon finally rolled around and he was leaving work, Jihoon was not really looking forward to the kind of date. It would either end up really good or really bad, and he wasn't sure he was prepared for either outcome. Well, either way he would have fun there, he reminded himself again. Trying to keep that in mind, he set off for Junghan and Jisoo’s place.

He had dressed nicely but not too nice: a nice pair of jeans and a grey graphic print sweater. He didn’t want to overdress for a game night, but he definitely wanted to make a good impression. Seokmin’s friend already probably thought he was weird and desperate; he had to counter that as best he could (even if it was kind of true).

It was Jisoo who opened the door for him when he got there. “Come in, most everyone’s here already. Be careful though, I think Hansol and Chan are fighting over whether Hansol rightfully won DDR or not.”

Sure enough, Jihoon heard the two youngest interns yelling from the living room. From the sound of it, Hansol had won only because Mingyu and Wonwoo helped him by yelling out commands. Jihoon shook his head at his friends as he poured himself a drink.

Leaning over the counter, he took a good look at all of his friends. Chan had challenged Hansol to a rematch, and both of them were dancing their hearts out on the little plastic mats. Mingyu was perched on the arm of the chair that Wonwoo was sitting in, and he absentmindedly carded his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair occasionally. Jisoo had taken a seat next to Junghan, but due to the lack of space on the couch he was practically halfway on to Junghan’s lap. They looked happy though; content to watch the younger ones mess around. Seungcheol had actually pulled Seungkwan fully on to his lap, and the younger was gesturing animatedly to Seokmin about something. Seungcheol had his arm around Seungkwan’s waist and his head on Seungkwan’s shoulder, and seemed pretty happy to just sit back and let his boyfriend do the talking.  Jun and Minghao sat together on the floor next to the coffee table, playing some sort of card game while trying to avoid Chan and Hansol’s fast-moving limbs that sometimes brushed dangerously close to them.

The doorbell rang, and Jisoo jumped up to get it. “Babe,” Junghan whined. “Can’t you just sit with me?”

“That would be rude,” Jisoo called over his shoulder as he quickly crossed the room to the door.

“I could have gotten it hyung,” Jihoon protested weakly.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jisoo scoffed. “You’re a guest.” With that, he swung the door open with a wide smile. “Welcome, I’m Jisoo! You’re Soonyoung, right?”

“That’s me,” an unfamiliar voice laughed softly.

“Come on in,” Jisoo said in his soft welcoming voice that always made strangers melt. Jihoon kept an eye on the door so he could get a good look at who walked through.

He was taller than Jihoon himself but not too tall, and very handsome. He had the trademark 10:10 eye shape and pink lips that turned up slightly at the corners. His blond hair was mostly hidden underneath a beanie, and he wore a long denim shirt over a graphic tee. All in all, he was very attractive, and also someone that Jihoon had definitely never seen before. That meant that he had to be Seokmin’s friend.

Great, Jihoon thought. His soon to be fake boyfriend was really hot. Just what he needed. The sarcasm of his own thoughts made him want to roll his eyes.

“And that guy right there looking annoyed is my boyfriend Junghan,” Jisoo’s voice came floating through Jihoon’s head as he came back to reality. “He’s usually really nice, but he’s irritated that I’m not sitting with him. Oh, and the guy drinking all by himself in the kitchen is Jihoon. Wave, Jihoon!”

Jihoon grimaced a little from the uncomfortable situation and Jisoo’s enthusiasm, but he gave a little wave to the cute guy anyway.

“Jihoon hyung!” Seokmin yelled from the living room. “That’s my friend Soonyoung! Say hi, make friends!”

“I’ll leave you two to it then,” Jisoo smiled again, patting Soonyoung on the back. “Drinks and food are in the kitchen, Jihoon can show you where plates and cups are. When you two are done, feel free to come play some games with us. Don’t let Jihoon be antisocial all night, whatever you do.”

“Sorry I was late,” Soonyoung said. He rounded the end of the counter so he was closer to Jihoon, who turned to look at him.

“It’s fine.” Jihoon shrugged. “These game nights are pretty casual, no one cares.”

“I know, but I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you,” Soonyoung said candidly. “You know, so I can get to know you better.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jihoon replied. “So did Seokmin tell you what all of this…” he flapped his hand in the air haphazardly. ”Is about?

“You’ve got yourself in a sticky situation at work and you need a fake long term boyfriend to get yourself out of it,” Soonyoung answered with a nod. “Did I get that right?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon said quietly, ducking his head out of embarrassment. “You did. Do you want a drink or something?” he asked awkwardly, trying to change the topic to something that made him look a little less incompetent.

“I would love a drink,” Soonyoung confessed.

“They’ve got soda, coffee, tea, beer, wine, and maybe a little bit of vodka,” Jihoon offered, grabbing a plastic glass out of the cupboard that Jisoo insisted on storing them in even though it was far from any drink dispenser. “It keeps them organized!” Jisoo insisted every time Jihoon bugged him about it, so Jihoon just stopped asking.

“Soda is fine. Unless everyone else is drinking beer, then I’ll have beer,” Soonyoung said.

“Soda it is then,” Jihoon smiled. The smile that Soonyoung returned was blindingly bright and surprisingly adorable.

“So you work with Seokmin, right?” Soonyoung asked as Jihoon slid the now-full cup of soda across the kitchen island. “What is it that you guys do again?”

“Music marketing. But, I also like to compose and produce, and one day I want to have my own studio,” Jihoon replied.

“That’s so cool!” Soonyoung exclaimed. “It makes my job look boring.”

“What do you do?”

“I teach dance to little kids at a studio, and then I work on the radio show with Seungkwan. That’s why I was late, actually.” Soonyoung laughed. “One of my classes ran over because the big recital is coming up, so I just showered at the studio and put on some clothes I had there. So that’s why I look a little gross.”

“You look good,” Jihoon blurted. “Not gross, I mean. You look nice.” He cringed internally at himself, but Soonyoung just smiled bigger.

“Thanks,” Soonyoung said. “You look good too.”

“So,” Jihoon said, quickly trying to change the subject again. “How is this whole fake dating thing going to work?”

“I’m not sure.” Soonyoung shrugged. “I didn’t think you would like me that much, so I didn’t really think that far ahead.”

“I like you,” Jihoon reassured him. “You seem nice and you’re good looking. Besides, it’s not like I can be picky.”

“Have you seen yourself? I don’t know why you need a fake boyfriend, I would think someone who looks like you would have one already.” Soonyoung gestured to all of Jihoon, and Jihoon felt his cheeks flush. “But anyway,” he continued. “I guess we should hang out more? Go on dates and stuff. Not like real dates, but you know what I mean. Get to know each other better and figure out our story. How long is it to the party?”

“Three weeks from now,” Jihoon answered.

“That’s plenty of time, we totally got this,” Soonyoung grinned. “Sound good to you?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Why don’t we go play some games or something then? If I’m your boyfriend, then I should know all of your friends and coworkers,” Soonyoung teased.

Jihoon just nodded again slowly and he trailed into the living room on Soonyoung’s heels.

“So what are we playing?” Soonyoung asked cheerfully, taking a seat on the floor around the coffee table where the rest of Jihoon’s friends were gathered.

“BS,” Hansol answered. “I’ve already won once,” he said smugly.

“Watch out, Jihoon hyung’s here now,” Chan laughed, shoving at Hansol’s shoulder. “He won’t let you keep that streak for long.”

“I think I’ll be heading home soon,” Jihoon said awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “We all have work in the morning, and I want to make sure I’m ready.”

“Oh boo you.” Seungkwan made a face from where he was still perched on Seungcheol’s lap. At the prompting, Seungcheol nodded in agreement.

“You have to stay at least a little longer, hyung,” Minghao whined. “We’re having so much fun!”

“One game,” Jihoon conceded. He sat down very slowly right beside Hansol, and cheers erupted from his friends. Mingyu, who sat on his other side, threw an arm around his shoulders.

“Glad to have you with us hyung!” he grinned. There was a loud yelp and then maniacal laughter as Wonwoo looped his arms around Mingyu’s waist and tugged Mingyu’s torso into his lap. Jihoon just smiled and shook his head at his friends.

Jihoon felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and so he turned around ready to fight, assuming that it was Chan. When he saw it was Soonyoung, he immediately relaxed. “Are they always like this?” Soonyoung whispered.

“Pretty much,” Jihoon replied.

“Awesome,” Soonyoung grinned.

Jihoon won the next round of BS (as per usual). Hansol whined a bit, but got over it when they all promised to play beer/soda pong later. If there was one game Jihoon couldn’t beat Hansol at, it was beer pong.

Jihoon kept an eye on Soonyoung as the night wore on, but he quickly figured out that he didn’t need to. Soonyoung fit right in with the rest of Jihoon’s friends, despite only previously knowing Seokmin and Seungkwan. Jihoon overheard him and Chan discussing the technical stuff of Michael Jackson’s best choreographies, and he was pretty sure Minghao and Jun got invited to Soonyoung’s dance studio at some point.

When the game of beer/soda pong finally started, it didn’t surprise Jihoon when he was placed on a team with Soonyoung.

“It’s couples vs. couples and I’ll judge!” Chan proclaimed from his perch (sitting on the back of the sofa).

“I’m not part of a couple,” Hansol complained.

“Minghao and Jun aren’t really a couple, but they’re a team.” Chan shrugged. “Figure it out hyung.”

Eventually Seokmin woke up from his nap and declared that he didn’t have a partner either, and the game could finally begin.

“First up is Jihoon hyung and Soonyoung hyung against Jisoo hyung and Junghan hyung!” Chan proclaimed. “Competitors, take your places!”

“You take this way too seriously,” Jun grumbled.

“You can never take beer pong too seriously!” Hansol yelled, rounding on Jun.

“Shut up so they can play already!” Seungcheol complained.

“So what are we up against? And why is it beer and soda?” Soonyoung whispered in Jihoon’s ear. His closeness sent shivers down Jihoon’s spine. Whether it was because he was tired or because it was Soonyoung, he was unsure.

“Are you good at ping pong?” Jihoon whispered back.

“I’m alright.”

“Then we’ll be fine. Jisoo hyung is a lightweight and while Junghan hyung isn’t, he has really bad aim, especially this late at night. As for why we use both, most times we play on work nights and we don’t want people to go to work with horrible hangovers the next morning, because then we have to deal with them. It also adds a Russian roulette-style mystery to the game. Jisoo hyung came up with it, because he knew he was too bad at beer pong to play with only beer.”

Soonyoung grinned again, perfect pink lips stretching wide and his eyes and nose crinkling up. He looked so cute that Jihoon thought he might explode. He immediately looked away, across the table to their opponents.

“Start!” Chan crowed, and all hell broke loose.

The first game was an upset win to Soonyoung and Jihoon, despite the jeers of Seungcheol and Seungkwan who were rooting for the hyungs (of course they were: they wanted the easier opponent).

Next up against Soonyoung and Jihoon were Seungcheol and Seungkwan, which were a slightly harder match. Seungcheol got a few ball into their cups, but Seungkwan kept distracting him, and then refused to drink more than two cups of beer because he thought it tasted bad. Needless to say, Soonyoung and Jihoon won that round too.

Next up were Mingyu and Wonwoo. Jihoon didn’t have a lot of hope for that game, because they were good. As he expected, Mingyu and Wonwoo beat them fairly easily. However, along the way he and Soonyoung had fun, especially when they had to drink. They would link elbows and drink two cups at the same time, just for the hell of it. Soonyoung was fun and happy, and Jihoon liked being around him. It made him think that their little arrangement would work out very well.

After Mingyu and Wonwoo knocked out their team, both of them took a seat with the other losing teams. Both couples were immersed in their own little worlds, with only Seungcheol breaking occasionally to cheer on whatever team he wanted to win. Jisoo and Junghan never broke at all, content to sit and talk together without worrying about the chaos that was going on in their own apartment.

“So do you like cats or dogs?” Soonyoung asked.

“Why does it matter?” Jihoon laughed, throwing his head back in a mix of exasperation and exhilaration.

“If I’m your boyfriend, I would know if you were a cat or a dog person!” Soonyoung insisted. “That’s something that determines compatibility! I like both, but I get along with dogs more.”

“Fine, I’m a dog person.” Jihoon laughed again.

They had little conversations like that, learning more about each other as Ping-Pong balls flew back and forth in the air in front of them. As Jihoon had expected, Hansol and Seokmin won, beating Minghao and Jun by the narrow margin of two cups. Of course, they celebrated by drinking them, making Jihoon shake his head at them. Typical.

“I should get going,” Jihoon said as he saw the excitement begin to wind down. “I can’t be any more late to work than I usually am or Seungcheol will hand my ass to me.”

“Have a safe trip home!” Soonyoung said cheerfully.

“You too,” Jihoon replied automatically.  “You can ask Seokmin for my number,” he added as Soonyoung began to walk him to the door.

“So I’ll be seeing you again?” Soonyoung asked.

“Only if you’re okay with that.”

“I’m perfectly okay with that.”

“Well then,” Jihoon smiled. “I guess I’ll hear from you later then. Goodnight Soonyoung. Goodnight everyone, thank you!” He raised his tone for the last bit, to make sure that Jisoo and Junghan in particular could hear him. There came a chorus of goodbyes from all of his friends, and then they were shushed as Jihoon let the door close behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

When Jihoon managed to wake up without a trace of a hangover, he was pretty proud of himself. He even felt decently rested as he got ready for work. Last night had put him in a good mood, so he was ready to face his upcoming day at work and the harassment from his coworkers that would ensue.

“You’re late!” Seungcheol yelled as soon as Jihoon walked into the office.

“By how much today, boss?” Seokmin grinned like the Cheshire cat, sidling up next to Jihoon.

“Only ten minutes, better than usual,” Seungcheol replied as he ducked into his office.

“Hear that hyung? You’re better than usual!” Seokmin exclaimed as he nudged at Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Go away,” Jihoon grumbled. “It’s too early to make me deal with you.”

“You know you love me hyung! I was the one who set you up!” Seokmin called after Jihoon from the middle of the hallway as Jihoon escaped to the safety of his office.

Just as Jihoon was settling in to finally get some work done, his phone vibrated with texts.

 

**Unknown number** : coffee tomorrow???

**Unknown number** : this is Soonyoung btw

**Unknown number** : we met last night

**You** : I know who you are, Soonyoung.

**You** : and yes, coffee tomorrow sounds good.

**Soonyoung** : :^)))))

**Soonyoung** : just text me the address if you have a place you like nd we can meet there @ 9

 

Jihoon responded with the address of his favorite coffee shop that was just down the street a few blocks before his apartment before he locked his phone with a smile.

“What are you so happy about hyung?” Hansol asked, poking his head into Jihoon’s office door.

“What do you want, Hansol?” Jihoon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I just came to drop these papers off for you and to ask if you wanted a coffee or something, but then I saw you smiling and now I’m curious.”

“I don’t need any coffee, thanks,” Jihoon replied, taking the file of papers out of Hansol’s hands. “Now leave. I have work to do.”

“You didn’t answer my question hyung!” Hansol protested as Jihoon shut the door on him.

Moments later, Jihoon’s phone vibrated with a text. He eagerly grabbed it to see what it said, face falling when he saw it was just Hansol.

 

**Hansol** : I bet youre happy bc of that Soonyoung guy

**Hansol** : im right aren’t i

**You** : fuck off

**Hansol** : IM RIGHT

**Hansol** : did he text you?

**You** : …

**You** : go do your job and stop bothering me

**Hansol** : HYUNG AND SOONYOUNG SITTING IN A TREE

**You** : FUCK. OFF.

**Hansol** :  :D :D :D :D :D

 

Jihoon muted notifications from Hansol so he wouldn’t get his hopes up again, but Soonyoung didn’t text him again that whole day. Or night, either. When he got home from work, Jihoon worked on one of his compositions for a little while before he went to sleep. The last thing he thought about before he drifted off was what could possibly happen at the coffee shop tomorrow.

Jihoon woke up the next morning already dying with anticipation. They had agreed to meet at nine, but Jihoon was showered and dressed in jeans, a sweater and a beanie by eight in the morning. He tried to stall for a little bit before deciding that he might as well go early and be waiting for Soonyoung when Soonyoung got there.

The coffee shop was within walking distance of his apartment, so he shoved his hands in his pockets and kept his head down as he walked quickly through the cold to get there. The little bell on the door rang cheerfully when he opened it and he let out a puff of air at the temperature difference. Inside the café it was warm and cozy, just the way Jihoon liked it. Jihoon claimed a seat by the window at a raised table. He stared across the table at the empty seat for a moment, imagining what it might look like with Soonyoung filling it.

The place was fairly quiet now, as most of the people who had just stopped in for their morning coffee were long gone, off to work and their busy lives. At this time of day, the café was home to writers, artists, and grad students working on their latest projects. And of course, Jihoon himself. So when the little bell dinged again a few minutes later to signify a new arrival, Jihoon’s head immediately snapped up.

Soonyoung walked in the door, eyes wide and innocent looking as he took in what must be new surroundings. He looked very cute in a white t-shirt with a flannel and leather jacket over it, and a smile on his face as soon as he spotted Jihoon.

“Hey,” he said, soft but cheerful. He took a seat across from Jihoon without hesitation, which Jihoon was glad for. At least one of them had some good confidence. What was that saying again? Oh yes, opposites attract. Jihoon felt like that applied to them.

“Hi,” Jihoon replied, still feeling a little shy even after their bonding over beer/soda pong two nights ago.

“Did you order anything yet?” Soonyoung asked.

“No.” Jihoon shook his head. “I was waiting for you.”

“Oh, thank you.” Soonyoung smiled again. “Here, tell me what you want and I’ll go order for us.”

“You sure?” Jihoon asked. When Soonyoung nodded enthusiastically, Jihoon gave him his coffee order (still somewhat reluctantly).

Jihoon waited in silence until Soonyoung returned with two steaming coffees in his hand. Soonyoung hopped back up into the tall chair and slid Jihoon’s caramel macchiato across the table to him.

“So how are you this morning?” Soonyoung asked cheerfully. He took a sip of his coffee, and then yelped in pain.

Jihoon laughed quietly into the lid of his coffee cup as he slowly sipped his drink. “I’m good,” he said after a moment. “Tired, but good. How are you and your tongue after that?”

“I’m fine,” Soonyoung laughed. “My mouth still burns a little, but in general I’m okay. So what are your plans for this weekend?”

“Work on a few compositions I’ve got going right now.” Jihoon shrugged. “Catch up on some sleep. Other than that, I don’t really have anything planned. How about you? Do you have anything interesting to do this weekend?”

“I have to teach tonight and give a private lesson tomorrow to prep for our holiday showcase, which, by the way, you should totally come to. It’s next Sunday night, you think you can make it?” Soonyoung asked hopefully.

“I don’t have any plans, so I should be able to,” Jihoon replied, making a mental note to cancel anything he possibly had that day.

“Awesome,” Soonyoung grinned enthusiastically. “So…I guess we need to work out a story? For the party? We learned basics about each other on Thursday, so the next step would be working on our backstory.”

Jihoon nodded in agreement. “We should stick to as close to the truth as possible. That way we’ll remember it better,” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me. So we met at a party thrown by some mutual friends, I got your number from one of them because you were sweet and funny and attractive. That’s pretty much the truth, right?” Soonyoung asked.

Jihoon nodded again, taking a sip of his drink to hide his tiny smile at the fact that Soonyoung had basically just called him sweet, funny, and attractive.

“Its still too early for you to talk about this stuff, isn’t it?” It was less of a question and more of Soonyoung just making a statement. Jihoon nodded for the third time, lips curling up at the ends in a way that had to be visible even with his coffee cup in the way.

Soonyoung switched topics smoothly, and they began to talk about the weather and how cold it was, even for this time of year. Jihoon learned that Soonyoung’s favorite season was summer, a nice contrast to his, which was winter. It wasn’t necessarily something they needed to know about each other, but Jihoon felt like, because they knew little things like that, they had a better chance of pulling their little charade off.

After they were both done their coffees, Soonyoung offered to walk Jihoon home. Jihoon tried to refuse kindly, saying he was fine, but Soonyoung had none of it. Finally, Jihoon gave in and let Soonyoung walk home with him.

They kept talking all the way back. Soonyoung dared Jihoon to sing the cheesiest song he knew, so Jihoon sang a few bars of Rain’s ”I Do”. Soonyoung cooed over that, even joining in himself on the last line. Jihoon learned that Soonyoung was a good singer and his laugh was contagious. When they actually reached Jihoon’s apartment complex, he didn’t really want Soonyoung to leave.

He said goodbye anyway, and Soonyoung left with a promise to call or text Jihoon the next day about another date. When he got back to his apartment and shut the front door behind himself, he turned around and sunk down to sitting on the floor with his back to the door. He smiled to himself. Maybe this whole fake boyfriend thing could work out well after all.

 


	4. Chapter 4

They went on a few more dates in the days and week that followed. Sometimes it was to the Italian place by the radio station, sometimes to a bowling alley or the zoo, and sometimes they just went to Soonyoung’s dance studio just to sit in the break room and talk. Jihoon asked to see Soonyoung dance, but Soonyoung promised that he would see his dancing at the showcase on Sunday, which both of them were very much anticipating. Jihoon felt like he was enjoying the anticipation, but he knew Soonyoung just felt stressed. Which was why he hesitated calling on the day of the showcase, but did anyway because he had some pressing questions.

“Hey,” Soonyoung’s rushed voice came through the phone. “What do you need?”

“What time do you want me there and what do I have to wear?” Jihoon asked, skipping the pleasantries as he knew that Soonyoung was probably rushing around backstage trying to make sure everything was perfect.

“Doors open at 5:30 so be here at 5, and just dress in nice clothes. Like, button up and jeans,” Soonyoung answered quickly. “Doyoon get back here and put on your costume right now!” he yelled, slightly muffled. He had probably put his hand over the speaker so as not to deafen Jihoon.

“See you at 5 then,” Jihoon said. “I’ll let you go focus on preparations.”

“Thank you!” Soonyoung replied, but his voice still sounded extremely stressed.

Jihoon hung up the phone, staring a moment at Soonyoung’s contact picture that came up when he ended the call. It was a picture Soonyoung had taken on the two of them after snatching Jihoon’s phone off the bench as they sat in the park together. Jihoon’s cheeks were pink and he remembered he had been freezing but he was still smiling in the picture because Soonyoung had asked him to.

He begrudgingly locked his phone and set it off the table as he left to go get ready. He followed Soonyoung’s advice and wore a light blue button up with some nice jeans and dress shoes. He checked his reflection in the hallway mirror before he left, mussing with his hair multiple times to get it to fall just so.

On his way to the subway station, Jihoon noticed a flower stand off to the side of the road. People brought their friends flowers after performances, right? After a moment’s hesitation, Jihoon stepped off to the side and purchased a bouquet of roses. He clutched them tightly the whole way to the subway and on the ride to the section of the city where Soonyoung’s dance studio was. They were beautiful, and he didn’t want anything to happen to them before he could give them to Soonyoung.

Jihoon was glad Soonyoung told him to come early, because there was already a line to get in. Soonyoung had texted him his ticket code, so he didn’t have to buy one which was nice, because that line was even longer. As soon as the doors opened, he and the rest of the other audience members began streaming in. He found his seat quickly glad to see it was towards the front.

Jihoon bounced his leg anxiously as he checked and rechecked the program to see when Soonyoung would come on. He had a dance solo towards the middle, which Jihoon was looking forward to immensely.

All of the performers were good. There were a few that were behind those they were on stage with, but nobody who stepped on to that stage was any less than a good dancer. Jihoon didn’t pay all that much attention to them however, something that made him feel a little guilty. He was just waiting for Soonyoung.

When Soonyoung walked out on stage, Jihoon’s breath caught in his throat. Soonyoung was dressed in all black, leaving his hair and skin the only thing that set him apart from the dark stage. Almost all traces of the playful and happy Soonyoung that Jihoon knew were gone. But then he began to move, and it felt to Jihoon like Soonyoung had come back to life.

The way he moved was almost indescribable. His limbs matched the timing of the music perfectly, and his movements were fluid and graceful. Jihoon could see the Soonyoung he knew in the small smile that played across his lips during the most difficult dance sequences, and how he made small little motions in between moves that looked almost playful.

Jihoon was disappointed when Soonyoung’s solo ended. He craved to see more of his dancing, to be able to witness again how beautiful and alive Soonyoung looked when he danced. The rest of the recital passed in a blur, and before he knew it all of the dancers (Soonyoung included) were coming out to take their bow.

Jihoon stood up along with everyone else and clapped loudly, cheering along. His eyes were fixed on Soonyoung, who was standing in the middle of all of his students with the proudest smile on his face. All of the performers filed off stage to go run and meet the people who had come to see them, but Jihoon stayed put. Many parents were thanking Soonyoung so he decided to stay out of the way until that was over.

Almost everyone had left the theater at that point, but Jihoon still just lingered off to the side, clutching his bouquet of flowers tightly in his hand. Soonyoung shook the hand of the last parent waiting to compliment him, and then grinned widely as he strode over to Jihoon.

“So did you enjoy it?” Soonyoung asked eagerly.

“It was alright,” Jihoon said with a smile, causing Soonyoung to lightly smack his shoulder. “Alright it was amazing.”

“Thank you,” Soonyoung replied, still grinning. “Are those for me?” he asked, gesturing at the flowers Jihoon was still clutching.

“Nah, I brought them for the stage. It’s worked so hard tonight, supporting all of you guys and making sure you don’t crash through,” Jihoon said sarcastically, but with a smile on his face.

“Stop talking and give me my flowers,” Soonyoung whined, tugging on Jihoon’s bicep.

“Fine. Here,” Jihoon said, feeling a little shy as he thrust the bouquet of roses at Soonyoung.

“They’re beautiful, thank you Jihoon,” Soonyoung’s smiled softened into something a little more sincere, a little more meaningful.

“Its nothing.” Jihoon flapped his hand in the air.

“Its something,” Soonyoung argued. “You didn’t have to come, but you still did anyway.”

Jihoon opened his mouth to argue back but Soonyoung looked so happy clutching his flowers and smiling at Jihoon that he had to shut it again.

“I’m going to go clean up and then do you want to go have dinner or something?” Soonyoung asked. “There’s a really good Thai place a couple blocks down if you want to try that.”

“Rain check? I’ve got to get home at a reasonable hour tonight,” Jihoon said, shoving his hands into his pockets awkwardly.

“That’s fine. I’ll call you this week then?” Soonyoung asked.

Jihoon nodded. “Definitely.”

Soonyoung waved goodbye as Jihoon made his way towards the exit. Jihoon felt a little guilty for leaving Soonyoung as he stepped out into the winter chill but he kept walking anyway.

All the way home, end even as he was getting ready for bed, he couldn’t get the images of Soonyoung dancing out of his head. On stage, he looked so confident and happy. Not to mention, his dancing was amazing. Jihoon had taken some dance courses in college, but he hadn’t ever seen anyone dance with the same passion that Soonyoung did. Or maybe he was just biased because he also found dancing Soonyoung to be very attractive.

Jihoon was in too deep with Soonyoung and he knew it. It was just that he wanted to do absolutely nothing to stop it.

 


	5. Chapter 5

During the week following the recital, they didn’t talk much. Soonyoung was tying up loose ends up at the dance studio before they went on break, and Jihoon threw himself wholly into his work, both of the professional sort and his composing and producing. The silence ended, however, when Soonyoung called Jihoon on Friday morning, just as he was sitting down at his desk to work.

"Heeyyy, how's my favorite composer doing?" Soonyoung's voice came through the phone, clear and cheerful.

"I'm good, working," Jihoon replied, tucking the phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could use both hands to work on the computer. "A little busy, actually. What do you need?"

"Have lunch with me today," Soonyoung stated.

"Is there a please in there somewhere?" Jihoon mocked.

"Please have lunch with me today," Soonyoung amended.

"When and where?" Jihoon asked, laughing at Soonyoung's whiny tone.

"Noon, at the little diner over by the movie theater. I'll pick you up from work?"

"Sounds good," Jihoon said. "Wait, shit. We have a lunch meeting today. Make it dinner?"

"Deal. I'm still going to pick you up from your apartment though."

"If you insist," Jihoon replied. "I'm really busy right now so can I get back to work please?"

"You never work this early in the morning. I’m surprised you’re actually talking right now," Soonyoung said.

"Obviously not too surprised, or you wouldn’t be asking me out," Jihoon retorted, a smile on his face.

“Get back to work,” Soonyoung laughed. “Bye Jihoon. See you tonight!”

“Bye,” Jihoon replied, and the conversation was over with a beep.  His phone buzzed moments later, and he looked down to see texts from Soonyoung.

 

 **Soonyoung** : I’ll pick u up at 7

 **Soonyoung** : be ready

 

Jihoon spent the rest of his day in a good mood and anticipating their date that night. He made sure to leave the office exactly on time, and paid no attention as Hansol yelled after him to ask where he was going. On the drive back to his apartment, he sang out loud to every song on the radio, even ones he didn’t really like. He was usually in a good mood when he went to spend time with Soonyoung, but today he was even happier than usual. He attributed it to that fact that he had completed his Christmas shopping in between work and his pseudo-dates, and was now much less stressed about the aspects of the holidays that were non-party related.

He was ready and waiting in his living room by 6:50, hair combed neatly and dressed in a Mickey Mouse sweater that he knew Soonyoung liked. The doorbell chimed a few minutes later, and Jihoon immediately jumped up to get it, straightening his sweater on the way there.

As per usual, Soonyoung was grinning when Jihoon opened the door. Both his hands were hidden behind his back and Jihoon wondered why for a moment before Soonyoung proudly whipped out a bouquet of three daisies.

“What are those?” Jihoon asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Flowers for you. It’s probably our last proper dinner date before the party so I thought I would do something special for you,” Soonyoung said proudly. “Which is also related to the reason why I insisted that I pick you up. Come on downstairs, I have something to show you.”

“Fine, fine, I’m coming!” Jihoon laughed as Soonyoung practically tugged him out of his apartment and through the halls to the elevators and eventually down to street level.

“So where’s my limo?” Jihoon joked as they stepped outside, Soonyoung still gripping tightly to his hand.

“Right here!” Soonyoung grinned, gesturing to an occupied parking space. Jihoon’s jaw almost dropped wide open. Soonyoung was gesturing to a motorcycle, sleek and stylish with it’s classic red and black paint job and shiny finish.

“You cannot be serious,” Jihoon said with a shake of his head. “I’m gonna die on that thing!”

“You’re not going to die,” Soonyoung said confidently. “As long as you hold on tight and let me drive, you’ll be fine. Come on, let me do this for you. Please?”

Jihoon couldn’t say no when Soonyoung hit him with his classic puppy eyes and pouty lip combo. As he reluctantly nodded his head, Soonyoung beamed with joy.

Jihoon put on the helmet Soonyoung handed him somewhat reluctantly, but only because he didn’t really want to ride the damn bike in the first place, not because he was against safety. Soonyoung mounted the bike all too easily, and patted the seat behind him to urge Jihoon on.

“If I die on here, I want you to tell everyone I knew that it was your fault,” Jihoon warned before he took a deep breath and swung his leg over.

Soonyoung ignored his threat to give him instructions. “Put your feet up here, and wrap your arms around my waist.”

“Got it,” Jihoon said as he quickly complied.

“Hold on tight then,” Soonyoung grinned as he revved the engine and Jihoon’s stomach dropped.

Any curse he might have uttered was lost as Soonyoung went zooming through the streets. He pressed his face into Soonyoung’s shoulder out of fear, and when he inhaled he got a good whiff of Soonyoung’s cologne. Well, at least something nice is coming out of this, he thought. Very slowly as the bike slowed down, he let his head come back up. On one hand it was terrifying, but Jihoon also felt exhilarated.

“Isn’t this fun?” Soonyoung yelled back to him.

“A little!” Jihoon yelled back, swallowing sharply and squeezing Soonyoung’s waist even tighter as the bike started to speed back up again.

Jihoon gave an internal sigh of relief as he saw that they were pulling into the parking lot of the diner. Soonyoung parked the bike, and Jihoon scrambled to get off, getting his leg caught on something in the process.

“Here, let me help,” Soonyoung laughed softly, and Jihoon felt himself flush red. Soonyoung swung off the other way and carefully took Jihoon’s leg in his hands, unhooking it from wherever it had been stuck.

Soonyoung rounded to bike and ushered Jihoon into the restaurant, his hand dangerously close to resting on the small of Jihoon’s back. For a moment Jihoon wished that Soonyoung would just cross the final half inch and touch him, but then he realized how silly that thought was and ignored it.

Almost as soon as they sat down at a booth, Soonyoung begin to grill Jihoon about their story. Jihoon answered everything as best as he could, and made up what he didn’t know. When their food came, Soonyoung was still going.

“So what are we going to say if someone asks us how long we’ve been together? That’s a common question, right?” Soonyoung asked, leaning slightly forward so that he could use a fry to swipe some of Jihoon’s ketchup. Jihoon rotated his plate to make it easier for Soonyoung to access before he answered.

“Well she asked me out about three weeks ago, and I said you were long term, so I’d say we go for six months at least,” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me.” Soonyoung shrugged. “We definitely know each other well enough. And how did we meet again?”

“Remember, we’re keeping it close to the real thing. A mutual friend introduced us at a house party and you thought I was the cutest thing ever so you asked for my number and then asked me out,” Jihoon told him.

“Okay but why can’t it be you who fell madly in love with me?” Soonyoung asked.

“Who was it that texted me first again? Oh yeah, it was you,” Jihoon replied sarcastically.

“I see your point.” Soonyoung laughed.

“Is there any part of our story that we’re missing? I don’t want to get caught off guard,” Jihoon said, fidgeting a little out of nervousness as he imagined a scenario in which they were caught in their lie.

“Stop thinking about that,” Soonyoung’s voice cut in. “Hey, hey, hey Jihoon, Jihoon look at me.” Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s hand and pulled it across the table closer to him, running his thumb across the back of it. “See, look. For us, this is normal. But to other people it’s gross couple stuff. Nobody is going to question us that much, okay?”

“Okay,” Jihoon sighed. “But really, are we missing anything?”

“We met at a house party, I got your number and asked you out, we went on a few dates to the coffee shop and diner down the road from your house and the Italian place by the radio studio, and I knew you were perfect for me when I heard you sing ‘I do’ by Rain while we were walking home,” Soonyoung said. “I think we’re good.”

“Why the Rain song?” Jihoon asked. He still hadn’t pulled his hand out of Soonyoung’s grasp, so he did so in order to finish eating.

“Because it’s true.” Soonyoung shrugged. “Remember that day, when I walked you home from the café and dared you to sing the cheesiest song you knew and you sang that one?”

“That’s a horrible moment to decide I was perfect for you,” Jihoon said.

"Fine, what’s yours for me? I bet mine is still better,” Soonyoung said, sticking out his tongue afterward. Jihoon took a second to roll his eyes before answering.

“I’ll say I knew you were perfect for me when you walked me home from our very first real date,” Jihoon stated. He sipped his drink after, trying to make it look a lot more casual than he felt. He felt like he had just, in a way, confessed to Soonyoung.

“Okay, I give. That’s good too,” Soonyoung said, and Jihoon’s momentary nervousness dissolved.

“Can we stop talking about technical stuff now? It just makes me feel like I’m going to forget everything,” Jihoon asked.

“Fine. Let’s talk about going to see a movie on Sunday because I have no plans and I want to go see the new Terminator movie,” Soonyoung switched topics easily.

“Go see it by yourself then,” Jihoon laughed.

“But that’s no fun,” Soonyoung pouted. “Please? And don’t suggest I go see it with Seokmin or Seungkwan. Seokmin talks through the whole movie and Seungkwan always brings his boyfriend and makes me feel like a third wheel.”

“I was planning to work on my music on Sunday though,” Jihoon replied, trying to look a little sad instead of laughing again at Soonyoung’s cute pouty face.

“Fine, maybe after work during the week or something? I only have a class on Monday night, I got a sub for Thursday and Friday marks the start of our Holiday break,” Soonyoung continued.

“Sounds fine to me.” Jihoon shrugged. “Just tell me when.”

“You’re the best,” Soonyoung grinned.

They spent the rest of the night talking about anything but their story for the party. Soonyoung talked about his dance students and Jihoon told him about his latest composition, and how he wanted Soonyoung to choreograph something for it when he was done. Soonyoung mentioned he wanted to get a dog sometime soon and Jihoon told him that he’d have to get one that could learn to dance. They spent the rest of their meal laughing and talking about normal things like they were just that.

The ride back was just as close as the first one, with Jihoon clinging to Soonyoung’s waist like his life depended on it. He heard Soonyoung laughing whenever he squeaked at a sharp turn, and the sound made his heart flutter. Finally, Soonyoung pulled the bike to a stop in front of Jihoon’s apartment complex, putting his feet on the ground to steady them.

“This is it,” Jihoon said quickly, scrambling to get off the bike.

“Be careful,” Soonyoung laughed. His laugh was musical, making Jihoon all the more determined to get away from him.

"Goodnight," Jihoon said quietly. He pulled off the helmet he had borrowed, and extended it to Soonyoung. Soonyoung took it and pulled gently to take it, but Jihoon didn't let go. He let himself be tugged forward with the helmet, and he found his face astoundingly close to Soonyoung's. Soonyoung wasn't smiling for once, so his eyes were wide. Jihoon moved forward ever so slightly, so close that he could feel the puff of air Soonyoung released.

Then Jihoon realized how close they were to kissing and he jerked back to reality. He released the helmet and reeled back, the back of his shoe hitting the curb and almost causing him to fall. His arms flailed but he quickly steadied himself. Soonyoung looked worried and was halfway off the bike to catch him when Jihoon said a quick "I'm fine."

"Okay," Soonyoung replied, slowly getting back on. "Goodnight then. I'll see you again soon, right?"

"Yeah," Jihoon replied, looking at the pavement, his shoes, anywhere but Soonyoung. "Sounds fine."

Jihoon walked into his apartment building without looking back at Soonyoung. All he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss Soonyoung. He wondered what it would feel like if he just pressed their lips together softly. He would be lying if he said he had never looked at Soonyoung's lips before. They looked pink and soft and although they weren't very full, the way Soonyoung talked and smiled made Jihoon think he would know how to use them.  Jihoon shook his head at himself as he went up the flight of steps as quickly as he could. He couldn't afford the let his feelings get any more involved than they already were.

When he climbed into bed that night, he was still thinking about the almost kiss. He fell asleep, letting his own imagination run wild with scenarios of what it would be like to kiss Soonyoung. He was sure it would be the stuff of dreams anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

When he woke up in the morning, Jihoon made a conscious decision to ignore Soonyoung. He just needed a little bit of space so he could sort out what he was feeling and figure out what to do with those feelings. At least, that's how he justified it to himself. So when Soonyoung called, he didn't pick up. He definitely did not imagine Soonyoung's voice and what it would sound like over the phone, warm and happy and a little slurred still because it was still early on a Saturday. He didn't imagine the sound of Soonyoung's laughter, ringing loud and clear even over the phone, and how it filled Jihoon with warmth to hear it. Those were things that were definitely not on Jihoon's mind as he muted his phone.

Jihoon distracted himself from thinking about Soonyoung by writing music. He took out one of his old compositions and started fiddling with it, experimenting with adding more bass or changing the pitch of a note ever so slightly. At least when he was doing this he could feel in control.

That was the thing he disliked the most about being around Soonyoung, Jihoon decided. He didn't like how not in control he was. He would fumble over words and blush and his stomach would feel like it was being eaten by butterflies and he had to come to terms with the fact that he could not control his own emotions because he was so in love with Soonyoung.

Jihoon received no less than three missed calls and a text from Soonyoung that day. He ignored every call, and didn't respond to the text asking if he was okay. I'm just getting space, he told himself. This is totally normal.

Jihoon continued to ignore Soonyoung the next day too. He didn't really have much of a reason at that point; he just wanted to keep himself detached. Detached was good, detached was healthy. At least he thought it was, until Seungkwan showed up on his front doorstep.

"I know you're in there hyung!" he yelled, pounding on Jihoon's door with his fist.

"You're going to break my damn door!" Jihoon yelled back. "What do you want?" he asked as he pulled the door open harshly, glaring at Seungkwan even though the intern had a few inches on him height wise.

"You can't just ignore everyone, you know," Seungkwan remarked casually. He leaned against the doorframe and Jihoon was tempted to close the door on him.

"I'm not ignoring anybody," Jihoon scoffed.

"Bull. Shit." Seungkwan enunciated every letter, so Jihoon knew just exactly how much bullshit Seungkwan thought Jihoon was spewing.  "You've been antisocial for the whole weekend. The party is coming up soon, you can't do this hyung!"

"I have not been antisocial!" Jihoon protested.

"Prove it. Take me out to lunch," Seungkwan challenged.

"Fine," Jihoon bit back. He was already in jeans and a t-shirt, so he just snatched his jacket off the hook and his phone from the table. He glared at Seungkwan again as he walked out, letting the door slam shut behind him.

"Where do you want to go?" Jihoon asked asked as they started to walk down the sidewalk.

"The Mexican place over by your favorite café?" Seungkwan suggested. "It’s a few blocks away, does that sound good?"

"Fine by me," Jihoon answered.

Seungkwan had now started smiling again. "I'm glad you agreed to eat with me hyung."

"Yeah, yeah don't mention it," Jihoon said brusquely.

"So," Seungkwan changed the subject. "Why are you ignoring Soonyoung, if not everyone else?"

"I'm not ignoring Soonyoung, "Jihoon sputtered. "I am...taking a little bit of time for myself, is all."

"Taking a break without telling him? We are friends, you know. He told me you haven't talked to him since your date two nights ago."

"Damn it."

"Jihoon-hyung, you can't just ignore people that you don't feel like talking to. Speaking of which, why don't you want to talk to him anyways? It's rude. I thought you guys were doing really well. He said you two were almost ready for the party," Seungkwan pressed.

"It’s nothing, I've just been really tired recently. I just needed to take a break, it's not Soonyoung's fault or anything. Promise," Jihoon replied. He wasn't lying exactly. He had been tired lately, mostly because his dreams of Soonyoung were not actual dreams, but dreams that kept him awake at night.

"Just talk to him again, hyung. That's all he wants is to talk to you," Seungkwan said gently as the two of them slipped into a booth.

"So you speak for him now?" Jihoon scoffed.

"Well when you'll only talk to me and not him, yeah I do." Jihoon looked all around the restaurant, trying to find an escape. He took in all the vivid colors and vibrant decorations, but he saw no clear exit route that would not be hurtful to Seungkwan.

"Which is why," Seungkwan continued. "I called him here.” Jihoon snapped to attention, and he was pretty sure he looked momentarily mortified.

"Hey," came a painfully familiar voice from somewhere behind him, and Jihoon felt his heart skip a beat.

"I'll be going now," Seungkwan said way too cheerfully for someone who had just screwed Jihoon over (and not in a pleasurable way).

Soonyoung slid into the seat across from Jihoon, replacing Seungkwan. "So" he started. "Why were you ignoring me?"

"I didn't mean to, really," Jihoon answered. "I just... I needed some space I guess."

"Why didn't you just tell me, Jihoon?" Soonyoung asked. "You know I would give you space if you asked for it."

"I know, and I'm sorry. You know I'm not good with..." Jihoon gestured across the table to the space between the two of them. "Things."

"Don't say that," Soonyoung chided him. "If you say you're not good at something that's basically you just not allowing yourself to try."

"I am trying, really," Jihoon insisted. "I am," he repeated.

"Good," Soonyoung nodded his head. "So do you actually want to eat, or do you want to do something else?"

"Could we go for a walk?" Jihoon asked. "I think I need some fresh air."

"Sure." Soonyoung smiled. He got up first, and stood by the end of Jihoon's side of the booth so that when Jihoon stood up they were right next to each other.

"Where should we go?" Soonyoung asked.

"Anywhere is fine." As long as I'm with you, Jihoon added in his head.

When they left the restaurant, they walked towards a small park that Jihoon knew was a few blocks away.

"So how've you been? You know, while I was ignoring you," Jihoon asked good-naturedly.

Soonyoung replied with a laugh. "I've been good. Worried, mostly. About you."

"You don’t need to worry about me, Jihoon laughed back. "I take care of myself."

"Yeah," Soonyoung said sarcastically. "I can see that."

"Really!" Jihoon insisted. "I do! I live by myself and everything."

"That worries me too," Soonyoung admitted.

"Why? Don't you live by yourself?"

"Well, yes, but I don't periodically start ignoring people and I did martial arts so I could defend myself."

"Trust me hyung," Jihoon said. "I know how to defend myself."

Soonyoung just shrugged. "Doesn't mean I still won't worry about you. I worry because I care."

Jihoon's heart did the little jump thing again, and Jihoon cleared his throat to cover it up. “So,” he said abruptly, trying to change the topic to something that wouldn’t make him want to swoon. “How are the kids at your studio doing?”

“They’re doing so well!” Soonyoung beamed. “Samuel is really improving at tap, and MingMing is more and more enthusiastic about modern dance every time I see him.”

“That’s good,” Jihoon smiled back. “It’s because you’re a good teacher.”

“Thanks,” Soonyoung smiled again, a little more shy this time. “And what about your producing? How’s that song you were working on last time going?”

“Almost done.” Jihoon nodded awkwardly. “I’m just messing with the little details, fine-tuning it a bit.”

“And when you’re done you’ll let me listen right?” Soonyoung asked. “I promised my students that when my special friend Jihoon finished his song I would make a choreography for it and teach it to them.”

“I’m your ‘special friend Jihoon’?” Jihoon raised an eyebrow, looking up and over to Soonyoung’s face.

“Well calling you Mr. Lee just sounded weird. And we are friends, just in a little bit of a different situation than most friends.”

Jihoon’s heart sunk a little when Soonyoung said that. He should’ve guessed he was only special because he needed Soonyoung to be his fake boyfriend, not because Soonyoung actually liked him or anything.

All he said aloud, however, was “Fair enough.”

They got back to talking like normal, without Jihoon fumbling or worrying about what he was about to say. Soonyoung laughed at his bad jokes and told worse ones, just as usual. There was no planning for the party, no going over their backstory. To Jihoon, it felt so real. Like they were a real couple going on a real date, and not some…whatever they were.  Eventually it got a little too cold outside and Jihoon got a little too sad over that thought, so he had to say goodbye.

“I can walk home by myself,” Jihoon reassured Soonyoung. “You told me you live on the other side of town, you can just go home. It’s okay, I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Soonyoung replied. He extended his arms and for a moment Jihoon was unsure of what was going on. Then, it dawned on him. He walked into Soonyoung’s embrace, wrapping his arms around his hyung’s waist.  Soonyoung’s arms went around Jihoon’s shoulders, and there was an overwhelming feeling of safety and warmth, despite how cold it was outside. Jihoon never wanted to let go.

Because of that, he made sure he was the first one to. He said goodbye again quickly and began his walk home, not looking back to Soonyoung for fear he would run back and ask for Soonyoung to just hold him a while longer. It would make him look weak, and that was one thing Jihoon never liked to be. So, he walked home alone and in regret because all he wanted was Soonyoung.

Jihoon didn’t see or talk to Soonyoung for days after that. He responded to one text to ensure Soonyoung that he got home safely, but Soonyoung didn’t try to contact him again after that. In a way, Jihoon was thankful. He wasn’t sure how much more planning he could do, first of all. The more they went over their story, the more anxious Jihoon felt. And of course he didn’t want it to be over, because that would mean that he and Soonyoung would cease to be a thing…whatever they were.

Jihoon also was unsure of how much more time he could spend with Soonyoung. The more time they spent together, the more in love Jihoon felt, and he couldn’t afford to feel like that. He was tired and in bad moods because of his lack of communication with Soonyoung, but he reasoned that it was worth it. At least, he hoped it was.


	7. Chapter 7

The party loomed closer and closer, but Jihoon’s anxiety was mostly gone. He had faith that he and Soonyoung could pull it off. The day before the day of the party, tension and emotions were both running high in the office and Jihoon was tired of it already. Hansol, Chan, and Seungkwan were tailing Seokmin, all trying to secure an extra portion of whatever food Seokmin was providing for the party. Seungcheol was making eyes after Seungkwan like a pitiful puppy whose owner had left it all alone. Even Minghao and Junhui were excited, acting like children like the rest of them. Jisoo and Junghan were the only ones who were reasonably calm, and even they were clearly excited.

Needless to say, it didn’t surprise Jihoon when he found out they had something planned for that night.

“Hey hyung!” Seokmin burst through the door of Jihoon’s office with a loud bang, a huge dopey grin on his face. Jihoon looked up from his computer screen slowly, already a little exasperated with him. It was only 10:30 for God’s sake.

“What do you want?” he sighed. “And please make it quick, I have to finish going over this paperwork by lunch and I’ve just barely started.”

“We’re going out to a club tonight, and you’re coming with us. You know that nice one downtown that opened a few months back with the weird French name? We all agreed that we could use a night off before the party and so could you.”

“Isn’t the point of the party to have a night of fun?” Jihoon asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well yes,” Seokmin admitted. “But we all know you’re stressed and we think this could help.”

“And who is ‘we’ exactly?”

“This whole department,” Seokmin stated. “And Soonyoung,” he added.

“Of course,” Jihoon groaned, rubbing at his eyes. “Even Jisoo-hyung is going along with this?”

“Yep!” Seokmin said cheerfully. “So you have no excuse not to go. We’ll come pick you up at eight, so be ready.”

“Wait why can’t I—“ Jihoon started, but Seokmin was already gone, door slamming shut behind him. “…drive,” Jihoon finished quietly for no one to hear but himself.

Jihoon spent the rest of the day debating whether or not he actually wanted to humor them and go out clubbing. Clubs were not his typical scene to begin with. He liked to make music, not really dance to it. Even if the party was tomorrow, they still were supposed to attend work, so he couldn’t get very drunk even if he did go. Still, it would be nice to just go out and have fun with his friends and his…Soonyoung for a night. Jihoon knew that Seokmin was right in that it would distract him from worrying about the party.

It was finally on the drive home from work that Jihoon made up his mind and decided to go. He might as well, after all. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do, he reasoned with himself.

He spent the most of his time in his apartment eating leftover noodles and working on a new song. At seven his alarm to get ready went off, so he went and showered and changed into what he hoped were club-appropriate clothes: black skinny jeans and a maroon v neck.

As promised, his doorbell rang at 7:58. When he opened it, he saw Jisoo standing there with his trademark soft smile on his face.

“They sent you to make sure I didn’t back out didn’t they?” Jihoon asked a little bitterly as he shut and locked his apartment door behind him.

“Well,” Jisoo started, but Jihoon gave him a look and he just nodded. The two of them had always shared a special bond, ever since they sang Sunday Morning together at a coffee house in college as part of a music class grade. When they both ended up working for the same company, Jihoon was very pleased.

“I thought so,” he replied as he followed Jisoo down to where the others were idling by the curb in Seungcheol’s ancient Dodge Durango.

When he climbed in, Minghao immediately patted the seat next to him, all the way in the back. “We saved you a seat hyung!” he said cheerfully. Jihoon noticed that it was also the only open seat in the car, so he took it without complaining. He did a quick survey of the car to see who all was there. Junhui sat on the other side of Minghao, and Seokmin, Junghan, and Jisoo took up the middle row. Seungkwan sat up front with Seungcheol. Jihoon supposed it was boyfriend privileges.

“Where are the others?” Jihoon asked.

“Soonyoung, Hansol, Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Chan are all meeting us there,” Seungcheol answered quickly. “Although I think you’re just worried about Soonyoung.”

Jihoon ignored that last bit. He mostly just didn't want to admit to it being true. He really did want to see Soonyoung, and he was hoping that for tonight and tomorrow night he could forget just how quickly it was all going to be over. He shook the idea out of his head almost immediately. He didn't need to be thinking about the end right now, only what was happening right now. And right now, he wanted to see Soonyoung.

The drive to the club was boisterous and loud, and of course, fun (even for Jihoon). They blasted music and rolled three windows down (one was completely broken and was fastened to the ceiling with purple zebra print duct tape). They sang along to every song they knew, and some of them made up dance moves to go along with the music.

"Think of it as a warm up for us," Jun laughed when he saw Jihoon shaking his head at them.

When they finally got to the club, Jihoon scrambled out of the car as fast as he could. It had been fun, but there was only so much time he could spend cramped in a car with all of them. It was exhausting, really.

"Better get your energy up," Junghan laughed, patting Jihoon on the back as he pulled his I.D. out of his pocket to show the bouncer. When it was Jihoon's turn to show I.D., the bouncer gave him a look and seemed to think his I.D. was a fake, but he didn't care enough to stop him and let him in anyway.

The first thing he noticed when he walked in the club was Soonyoung. He was sitting at a table with the other four he came with, talking and laughing. They had already started their first round of drinks, for which Jihoon was grateful. Now he wouldn't look so weird when he sat down with a drink in hand already. He was going to need a few to make it through the night.

Once everyone made it inside, drinks were ordered and they sat at the bar and at tables for a little while, drinking and cracking jokes and taking in the atmosphere. It was definitely a nice club. Black walls were splattered with iridescent paint that glowed under black lights, a stark contrast to the deep velvet curtains and classy booth tables that lined the wall.

The first people out on the dance floor were Minghao, Jun, Chan, and of course Soonyoung. They were the most experienced dancers out of all of them, and It really showed. Jihoon was entranced by the four of them. They moved so fluidly that he could have sworn their bones had turned to jelly.

He was fixated the most on Soonyoung of course. Soonyoung was captivating with whatever he did, but especially so when he was dancing. When he was dancing, he was so in his element. Soonyoung looked like there was nothing else he would rather be doing then dancing at that moment. He showed it in the way he moved, in the way he smiled at Jun and Chan and Minghao and even Jihoon. He kept looking at Jihoon with his smiling eyes that made Jihoon want to melt into a puddle of goo right there on the club floor.

Jihoon looked back for a moment, partially to check on Seungkwan and the others but mostly because he had to take his eyes off Soonyoung for a moment because he was afraid Soonyoung might think it was creepy.  When he turned back around, Soonyoung was there.

"Jesus," he started, jumping back as best he could while sitting on a barstool.

"Come dance with me," Soonyoung demanding breathlessly as he tugged on Jihoon's wrist.

"You want me to dance with you?" Jihoon asked, a little confused. "I'll slow you down."

"It doesn't matter," Soonyoung laughed. "I'm not dancing to look good, I'm dancing to have fun. And dancing with you will be fun. Come on, please. For me?" Soonyoung put on his pouty face and Jihoon couldn't resist. That, and also Soonyoung looked irresistibly good in his muscle shirt, arms a little shiny from sweat and entire body kind of sparkly from someone else's body glitter. Jihoon slowly slid off his stool and a grin spread across Soonyoung's face. "Come on," he said loudly to Jihoon, who was struggling to hear anything over the thumping bass of the song that just came on.

Soonyoung dragged Jihoon out to the middle of the dance floor before letting him go, but they were still close together considering how packed the dance floor was. "Show me how you dance," Soonyoung shouted.

Jihoon closed his eyes for a second and found the beat of the song. He let his hips sway slowly along to it for a moment, before beginning to dance in earnest. He heard Soonyoung whoop, and a smile spread across his face. Soonyoung followed his movements, following along for a while before he changed it to a similar dance. It was a little more Soonyoung than what Jihoon was doing and it really suited him well. At some point the song changed but they kept dancing. Soonyoung would exaggerate his movements to make Jihoon laugh, and it worked.

A little later, Soonyoung pulled Jihoon close by his forearms. Jihoon's hands settled on Soonyoung's biceps and their hips were way closer than Jihoon would have normally liked them to be (under their specific circumstances anyway) but it was a club and they were dancing and he was a little bit drunk so he let it happen. Jihoon thought he heard some wolf whistling and cheers from the general area where their friends were sitting but he didn't care.

Soonyoung let their hips gyrate slowly, smiling at Jihoon the whole time. To Jihoon, it didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be real. Soonyoung would never want this normally, he told himself. This was just for fun. Jihoon pushed the thoughts out of his head and focused just on Soonyoung. If this was what Soonyoung wanted right now, then Jihoon was going to take advantage of it god damn it.

Jihoon felt the eyes of their friends on them, and he suddenly began to feel self-conscious. He thought he heard Hansol’s voice yell out “get it hyung!” but maybe that was just his imagination. Either way, he used the song change as an excuse to slip out.

“Where are you going?” Soonyoung asked loudly, grabbing Jihoon’s wrist.

“It’s been fun, but I’d need another drink to keep doing this,” Jihoon answered.

“I’ll buy you something,” Soonyoung offered.

“No thanks, I really don’t want to be hungover at work tomorrow. An old guy at the bar already bought me two watermelon martinis, I think I’ve maxed out.” Jihoon shook his head.

“You let someone else buy you drinks? I thought I was your boyfriend,” Soonyoung pouted. Jihoon sputtered a bit, and Soonyoung laughed. “I’m convincing right? See you don’t even have to worry about tomorrow night! We’ll be fine!”

Jihoon’s heart dropped into his stomach and he tried to smile, but it looked a little more like a grimace. “Yeah, we’ll be fine.”

‘Will you come dance with me again?” Soonyoung asked again, putting his pouty face back on.

“Fine,” Jihoon replied. He smiled again, for real this time. They danced together for a while longer, a mess of grinding and awkward ugly dance moves and fluid real dances. He showed off some of the dances he had to learn in college for his performance class and Soonyoung cheered him on the whole time, encouraging him to keep going. Finally, the two of them collapsed into a booth, completely exhausted. Feeling brave, Jihoon let his head fall to rest on Soonyoung’s shoulder. Soonyoung hummed softly in acknowledgement, and Jihoon felt warm inside.

Jihoon knew that all of their friends were expecting him to go home with Soonyoung. He knew it, which was a big reason he had for making sure that it didn’t happen. Well, not that big of a reason. He mostly didn’t want to go home with Soonyoung because he knew that if Soonyoung asked him he wouldn’t be able to say no and they would both regret it in the morning and it would just be a big mess. So, Jihoon had no intentions of going home with Soonyoung.

All thirteen of them filed out of the club in less of a line and more of a slightly drunken infinity sign shape. Jihoon let the rest of them pile into their respective cars while he got himself a cab. He needed the peace and quiet of an empty cab to clear his mind a little. On the ride to his apartment, he thought about what would happen after tomorrow. He knew he was in love with Soonyoung, and had been for a while. He also knew that Soonyoung was doing this because he wanted to please his friends, and had made a new one in Jihoon. Jihoon hoped that he wouldn’t mess up their friendship tomorrow night. Part of him reasoned that nothing he could do could possibly be worse than the drunken grinding that had just happened a little while ago, but the other part of him said that they were just having fun. Tomorrow they would both be sober and Jihoon would still love Soonyoung but Soonyoung wouldn’t want to do that anymore and the thought made Jihoon want to curl up in a ball and cry.

He considered doing just that when he got home, but he decided against it. Instead, he took a quick shower to rinse off the sweat and glitter and other club-related smells. And well, if a few tears were shed while he was in the shower then no one was ever the wiser.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning at work, Jihoon laughed when he saw Hansol walk through the door with sunglasses and leaning on Jisoo for support. Seungcheol looked a little worse for wear, with bags under his eyes and a wrinkled button up on. Jihoon wondered if he slept at all last night. Seokmin made it through almost scratch free, but Jihoon caught a few yawns during the day. He chuckled at his coworkers. At least he knew how to take care of himself during and after a night of drinking.

As smug as he was about not being hung over, he also had to admit that he was still nervous for the party. Not so much for the party itself, but for the aftermath. Part of him just wanted the night to be over. As soon as it was, he convinced himself, then he and Soonyoung could go their separate ways and he could try his hardest to forget about his unrequited love. And Jihoon was good at forgetting. Throughout the day, he tried to imagine scenarios for what might happen after the party. Maybe he would get lucky and Soonyoung would still want to be friends. He could still see him at parties and when they all went out together and maybe they could have friend dates at their favorite Italian restaurant and everything would feel the way it used to.

It was also highly possible that Soonyoung would want nothing to do with him. Jihoon thought that that might almost be better, in a way. He could fully get over Soonyoung, move on with his life in a way that he knew he would not be able to if they stayed friends. Jihoon could also guess that that would not happen if he told Soonyoung about his crush. Soonyoung was a kind person--he would want to stick around, try his best to be a friend to Jihoon, maybe even try his hardest to love him back. Jihoon did not want that. He just wanted to sever all ties, to let Soonyoung go. That would be best, he convinced himself. The most painless option.

He pushed those thought back for the time being, because it was at that time he had to start thinking about what was going to happen at the party itself. They had gone over their story dozens of times, so Jihoon had faith that would go fine. Soonyoung was friendly and relaxed in whatever he did, so that wouldn't be a problem either. The only foreseeable issue would be Jihoon's own awkwardness, but he trusted that he would melt around Soonyoung the way that he always did.

He made it through the rest of the day pretty easily and he tried his best to focus on work. Everyone was allowed to go home a little early to get ready for the party, so he clocked out at 2 pm and was in his car on his way home by 2:15. He had never been simultaneously so glad and so sad to leave work early.

Why Jihoon even bothered setting an alarm to get ready for the party, he didn’t know. He spent a good hour looking between the clock and his work to see if it was a justifiable time to start getting ready. The party started at six, but he wanted to get there early and he knew he needed to allot extra time to get ready so he set the alarm for 4:30. As soon as it went off, he jumped up from his desk and headed straight to the bathroom to shower.

Jihoon worried about his outfit for at least thirty minutes before deciding on something.  He picked some nice dark jeans and a white dress shirt, layering a thin Christmas sweater with reindeer on it over top.  Snagging his jacket on the way out, he decided to just ruffle his hair a bit in the hall mirror before he made his way outside to where his car was waiting.

The entire drive was spent with him tapping his fingers on the steering wheel out of nervousness and anticipation. He tried to sing to distract himself, but it didn’t work. All he could think about was what was going to happen after they pulled off their charade tonight. There was no doubt in Jihoon’s mind that they would pull it off—he had the feelings part already and Soonyoung was a fantastic actor. What he was scared of was the aftermath: going home alone and never seeing Soonyoung again except for the odd party that Seokmin might throw which would be full of awkwardness because you can never really be just friends with someone you fell in love with.

When he finally got to the party, Jihoon was milling around with the rest of the employees, making small talk with Lizzy from HR and some of the boys from marketing that he went to high school and college with. He knew Soonyoung was going to be a little rushed because he had a class to teach at three, but he had promised Jihoon he would be on time. It was almost six and Jihoon was starting to get worried Soonyoung had forgotten him.

“He is coming, right?” Seokmin’s voice appeared beside him as the other man sidled up next to him, leaning back on a table of Christmas cookies.

“Unless he suddenly decided to bail then yes,” Jihoon replied, sipping his eggnog without looking at Seokmin.

“Speak of the devil,” Seokmin replied. “Look at who just walked in.”

Jihoon’s eyes immediately went to the door and he inhaled sharply. Soonyoung had just strolled in, and he had definitely kept his promise to look nice. He was in jeans and a maroon dress shirt, a nicely patterned tie around his neck. His brown leather jacket and shoes matched perfectly, and he had on a touch of smudged brown eyeliner. His hair was swept up off his forehead and Jihoon was absolutely in love with the way it looked.

He kept his eyes on Soonyoung just to see what he would do. Soonyoung looked calm and relaxed as he strode confidently across the room to go poor himself a drink. Jihoon shook his head a little and laughed to himself. Of course Soonyoung would go straight for the eggnog. Jihoon was still chuckling a bit when he saw Raina from HR sidling up next to Soonyoung and leaning prettily on the drink table. He craned his neck a little in an attempt to hear what she was going to say, ignoring the look Seokmin gave him.

"So," she said. "I've never seen you in the office before. Are you from one of the other departments?"

"No," Soonyoung laughed, flashing a blinding smile. "I'm here as a guest."

"Whose guest? I might just have to steal you away," she said, returning the smile.

Jihoon took a deep breath and slipped through the crowd, quickly making his way to the drinks table. "Hey babe, you getting me a drink?" he asked as he slipped an arm around Soonyoung's waist.

Soonyoung smiled down at him, nose scrunching a little bit in the very cute way that it did. "Of course I am sweets," he replied. Jihoon felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him--so he did. It wasn't a real kiss, just a soft peck on the cheek. But to Jihoon, it felt real. It felt right. Soonyoung didn't flinch or pull away, just smiled wider.

"So this is your lost puppy, Jihoon. You better keep an eye on him, he's a catch," Raina smiled apologetically.

"Don't I know it," Jihoon laughed. Raina politely said goodbye, and made her way back through the crowd towards where Seungcheol was standing. Jihoon mentally wished his manager luck.

"Nice work," Soonyoung whispered into Jihoon's ear.

"Yeah," Jihoon replied softly. "You too." Jihoon would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little sad that Soonyoung broke the illusion. He shrugged it off, however. That's all it was supposed to be--an illusion.

The rest of the party goes off without a hitch. All of Jihoon's coworkers that were close to him (read: his entire department) knew about the plan (not because Jihoon told them but because Seokmin didn't know how to keep his mouth shut and all the interns ever do when they make the coffee is gossip). They were all pleasantly surprised, it seemed, at how happy Jihoon looked. Soonyoung played his role perfectly, smiling at everyone and keeping an arm around Jihoon and never straying too far away.

Both of them drank a little bit too much spiked eggnog, but it felt nice. Jihoon was more relaxed than he had been in a while, and having more fun too. Although, he always had fun on his dates with Soonyoung, so that part might not be entirely true. By the end of the night, Jihoon remembers stumbling over Soonyoung and clinging to his arms like they were an anchor. The last thing Jihoon registered was being gently shoved by someone (Junghan maybe? Minghao?) into a cab with Soonyoung up against his side, warm and solid.


	9. Chapter 9

When Jihoon woke up, it was to the bright morning light streaming in through tall windows and hitting his face. He groaned, rolling over onto his side to check his alarm clock. When he cracked an eye open to read it, he was thrown off when he realized that it wasn’t there. He rubbed the post-sleep crustiness from his eyes and sat up a little, taking a look at his surroundings.

The first conclusion Jihoon came to as his brain began to work was that he was not in his room. It was a little smaller than his own, decorated simply and in all light colors. He looked down at his body and saw that someone had stripped him of his dress clothes, leaving him in just an undershirt and underwear. His clothes were somewhat haphazardly draped over/piled on an armchair that was in the corner of the room.

Silently, Jihoon hoped this was the apartment of one of his friends. He knew Seokmin had moved since he last visited, and Seokmin was nice enough to strip his uncomfortable clothes and let him sleep in his bed. Somehow though, he got the feeling that he hadn’t gone home with Seokmin last night.

He swung his legs of the bed and stood up slowly, padding softly to the door. His bare feet made soft slapping noises against the cold hardwood, and he winced at the sudden sensation. The door creaked open softly as he stepped out into the main living area.

The first thing he saw was Soonyoung. Soonyoung was sleeping soundly on the couch, one hand on his stomach and the other hanging off the edge, fingertips brushing the floor. He hadn’t bothered to take off most of his clothes, just his shoes, belt, and jacket which were messily piled at the end of the couch. Jihoon admired how cute he looked then, the sun brightening his already light hair, and his perfect pink mouth open and rounded as he slept.

Jihoon shook his head at himself and turned around abruptly. It felt wrong to be here. He and Soonyoung had been fake dating, but he had made sure they never saw each other’s apartments. Seeing his studio and sharing their talents was already too personal, so being in Soonyoung’s home like this—it just felt wrong. He had to leave. He felt guilty, but he had to leave.

He quickly turned back into the bedroom, grabbing his clothes and getting dressed as fast as he could while still being quiet enough to not wake Soonyoung. He knows Soonyoung was a lighter sleeper than he was, Soonyoung had told him so himself. He thanked his lucky stars that his headache made him easier to wake up this morning, or else Soonyoung might have gotten up before him. He didn’t want to think about how awkward that would have been. Some part of Jihoon reasoned that Soonyoung must have wanted him there, or he wouldn’t have taken Jihoon home. But every other part of him was telling him that the little charade was over. The party had ended, Soonyoung did his favor to Seokmin and got his free food and booze, and now he probably didn’t want anything to do with Jihoon.

Jihoon left his shirt un-tucked under his sweater and draped his jacket over his arm as he left, taking one last look at Soonyoung over his shoulder as he unlocked the front door and slipped outside. It took him a few wrong turns to find the elevator, but once he did he took it straight down to the ground level. His breath fanned out in front of him as he stepped out onto the curb, raising his hand to flag a cab.

Snow was falling, just the lightest dusting on the pavement landing, but nothing stuck. Jihoon wanted so badly for that to be a metaphor for his relationship with Soonyoung. He couldn’t deny that he had developed feelings for Soonyoung, but he wanted them to just blow over, fade away like the snow on the too-hot pavement. He knew that wasn’t how it was going to work though. Jihoon had always gotten too attached, and his attachments never broke easily. As he stared out the window for the rest of the drive to his apartment, he decided he would just ignore everyone for a while. Not so long as to worry his friends and family, but just long enough to adjust properly to life without people (and getting over Soonyoung in the process).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a quick insert from soonyoung's pov

Soonyoung was not pleased with himself. When he finally woke up, he had a pounding headache (courtesy of last night’s alcohol consumption and little sleep) and it was already past noon. He went to go roll over to be able to see his alarm clock, and yelped as he rolled off the couch and onto the cold floor. His head jolted sharply and he felt a sudden pain in his neck. He sat up slowly, groaning the whole time.

Memories of last night’s events came flooding back to Soonyoung. He remembered being pushed into a car by Junghan, and the long drive to his apartment, Jihoon’s body a hot line up his side the whole time. He remembered stumbling in together, laughing, his arm around Jihoon’s waist. Most of all, he remembers Jihoon sleepily saying goodnight as Soonyoung tucked him into his bed before retreating to the couch.

“Jihoon!” Soonyoung called, using the coffee table to haul himself off the ground and heading for the bedroom.  “Jihoon?” he said, quieter this time as he peeked through the door.

Sunlight streamed in through his bedroom windows and onto an empty bed. The sheets were pushed back and all Jihoon’s clothes were gone—he had definitely left earlier that morning. Soonyoung wished he could say that he wasn’t disappointed, but he never had liked lying to himself.  He brushed his fingertips over his now-cold sheets as he thought about what he had wanted this morning to be.

Soonyoung had a grand idea of what he wanted to have happened. He wanted to wake up before Jihoon, to wake up Jihoon himself by shaking him softly and maybe pressing a few kisses to the top of his head. He wanted to drag Jihoon out of bed and shove him into the shower while he went to go cook breakfast for the two of them. He wanted to have seen Jihoon come out into the kitchen with hair still damp and wearing one of Soonyoung’s old t-shirts, soft from years of wear. They would eat pancakes together and laugh about the party and Soonyoung was going to touch Jihoon’s hand softly over the table and ask if he could have a second chance at a first date, a chance to keep their relationship from fading away, a chance to make it real.

Soonyoung dug his phone out of his pocket, relieved as he saw he had more than a shred of battery left. He quickly found Jihoon in his contacts and hit the dial button without a second thought. If he picks up, Soonyoung thought, then that means he still wants something to do with me. Soonyoung really wanted him to pick up.

The phone rang once, twice, many times, and Soonyoung accepted that Jihoon wasn’t going to answer. He didn’t call again. If Jihoon didn’t want to talk to him then he had to respect that. He couldn’t help but feel a little alone. He contemplated calling Seokmin or one of his other friends, but the thought quickly dissipated. Soonyoung just let himself feel alone.

After that morning, Soonyoung tried to make his life go back to normal. He worked double shifts at the dance studio some days and put in overtime at the radio station. When he was there, he could keep his mind off Jihoon in a way that he couldn’t when he was home. The work distracted him from wishing about what could have been.

It worked. After about a week of not talking to Jihoon, he didn’t think about him as much. Soonyoung definitely hadn’t stopped liking Jihoon, but thoughts of him no longer filled his every waking moment. He was on his way back to normality, and it felt good. Not quite as good as reciprocated love would feel, but still good.


	11. Chapter 11

Jihoon would like to think that he does not mope. He never liked to get stuck on upsetting things, because what was the point? The world was going to continue turning anyway, so why waste his time? He might as well just be productive.

However, all of Jihoon’s coworkers came to the conclusion that he was moping. When he walked into the office on that Monday, Seokmin pulled him aside and shout-whispered, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just tired,” Jihoon replied, keeping his voice steady and even as he pulled free of Seokmin and continued down the hallway.

“Hey hyung,” Jisoo said from the small alcove where the coffee pot was. “Do you need some coffee? You look a little down.”

“No, thank you,” Jihoon gritted his teeth. “I’m fine.” Jihoon tried to continue on his way so he could finally reach his office, but he heard more whispers from inside the cubicles.

“Is Jihoon-hyung moping over Soonyoung-hyung?” Chan’s voice rose from inside the small space. There was the telltale sound of a portfolio hitting something solid, a yelp, and then Hansol’s voice.

“Shut up, Chan, he’ll hear you!”

Fed up, Jihoon spun around and threw his hands up in the air. “I’M NOT MOPING! I’M PERFECTLY FINE! NO NEED TO WORRY!” He huffed, turned on his heel, and slammed his office door behind him.

He dropped into his chair dejectedly, folded his arms and rested them on his desk, letting them cushion his head. “I’m not moping,” he mumbled to himself.

“That sounds like something someone who’s moping would say,” Mingyu’s voice said from somewhere above him and Jihoon almost jumped out of his skin.

“Jesus,” he groaned, leaning back in his chair and squeezing his eyes shut. “What do you two want?”

“Just checking on you Jihoon,” Wonwoo replied. “We wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Yeah, you and the rest of this office apparently,” Jihoon bit back.

“All of us are worried for you hyung. You haven’t talked to anyone since Friday night and you look like absolute shit,” Mingyu said earnestly, leaning against Jihoon’s desk.

“Here, tell this to everyone else that is outside my office door right now: I am perfectly fine. It has been a long weekend, I am tired, but I am fine. And my long weekend has absolutely nothing to do with Kwon Soonyoung. Got it?”

“If you say so,” Wonwoo shrugged. “We’re your friends, okay? We just want what’s best for you.”

“And for you to be happy,” Mingyu tacked on to the end.

“Yeah, and that,” Wonwoo agreed.

“If you want me to be happy, then please just talk to me like you would any other time, alright? I’m going to be fine. Now can you please let me do my work?”  Jihoon pleaded. “Please?”

“Fine.” Mingyu shrugged. “We’ll leave you alone.”

“Thank you.”

The door swung shut behind Wonwoo and Jihoon let out a sigh he had been holding in. He knew his friends were worried about him, but he also knew that he had it under control. As long as he didn’t see Soonyoung again, he could control it.

When he left the office that afternoon, he got some sympathetic looks that he just shrugged off. He didn't need any pity because he was fine. He hoped it would only last a day or two, but alas--no dice.

The looks and whispers behind his back lasted all week long. He got really good at pretending he couldn't hear his friends and coworkers gossiping by the coffee pot about how he hadn't had a love life since college.

"I've been busy!" he was tempted to yell, but he never did. He knew they were just concerned for his wellbeing. He just wished they weren't.

Everything changed on Friday, however. When he walked in on Friday, all he heard was enthusiastic "Good morning Jihoon"s and "Hey hyung!"s. He thought it was a little odd, but he didn't really question it. Maybe this was their way of trying to cheer him up.

"Hey hyung," Seokmin said cheerfully, as he poked his head into Jihoon's office right before Jihoon’s lunch time that day. Can you come with me for lunch break? I have to drop off something for a friend really quickly, and then we can go out to eat. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds fine," Jihoon sighed, pushing all of his papers to the side of his desk.

Jihoon followed Seokmin out to Seokmin's beat up old car that he insisted on driving everywhere.

"Why can't we take my car?" Jihoon whined.

"Because I'm surprising you with the location hyung. That way it will be more fun!" Seokmin laughed.

Jihoon grumbled a little, but he didn't complain anymore. He really hoped that Seokmin was taking him to someplace other than the Italian restaurant nearby that he and Soonyoung had gone to so many times.  He loved the place, but it was so full of happy memories of him and Soonyoung pretending like they had something.

Seokmin pulled into the parking lot of what appeared to be a recording studio of some sort. "Come in with me," Seokmin said. "It'll only be a minute."

"Fine," Jihoon grumbled, slowly getting out of the car and following Seokmin inside.

Seokmin led him down a series of dark, winding hallways that finally stopped at a recording room. "Whose is this?" Jihoon asked.

"Just come on hyung." Too tired to protest, Jihoon followed him in.

Seungkwan was sitting by the soundboard, fiddling with the different slides. "Hey, you came!" he exclaimed cheerfully when the two of them walked through the door.

"Hyung," he said, looking at Jihoon. "Can you go in the studio and grab the microphone cover for me? I think it's cracked somewhere."

Jihoon rolled his eyes, but complied anyway. When swung the door of the booth open, the first thing he saw was Soonyoung sitting on the floor.

"Oh Hell no," he said quickly, trying to back out. However, he felt a shove at his back that pushed him all the way into the small room. The door slammed shut behind him, and he heard the click of a lock.

Soonyoung stood up (shot up rather, it was so fast) and they looked at each other for a moment before Jihoon turned around to look n out through the small window in the door.

“Hey! Boo Seungkwan! Lee Seokmin! This isn’t funny you dickheads!” Jihoon yelled, banging repeatedly on the door of the small room. He really did not want to be stuck in a small booth with his unrequited love for an extended period of time as some sort of cruel joke.

There came a crackling noise, and then Seungkwan’s voice over the intercom. “Sorry hyung, we can’t let you guys out until you stop being so emotionally constipated and tell each other how you feel.”

Jihoon bit his bottom lip as he turned around to face Soonyoung again. “We need better friends,” he told Soonyoung, his voice tinged with awkwardness.

“They’re right,” Soonyoung replied. “There is something I need to tell you.”

Jihoon pressed his lips together and gulped, not really prepared for what Soonyoung could say next.

“I like you Jihoon,” Soonyoung said confidently, and Jihoon’s heart skipped a beat. “I really, really like you. And what I want is a second chance at a first date with you. You’re handsome, sweet, funny, and great to be around and I know you can have some violent tendencies but we can work on those—“

Soonyoung stopped short when Jihoon took a step forward and pressed their lips together.

Jihoon heard Seokmin coo and Seungkwan making noises of disgust and telling them to keep it in the bedroom but he didn’t care because this? This felt so right. He felt like he could kiss Soonyoung forever. So, he told Soonyoung that.

“Good,” Soonyoung laughed. “That’s the goal.”

Jihoon smiled into their next kiss and his head felt a little fuzzy and if Soonyoung didn’t have a hold on his waist he would probably fall over because his love for Soonyoung was enough to get dizzy.


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from soonyoungs pov bc why not

Soonyoung would like to think that he would always get up early on their anniversaries. He did for their one month and six month but that was all Jihoon let him celebrate, and reluctantly at that. Jihoon could say nothing about today though. One-year anniversaries are a big deal. They had made it through a whole year of dating, of putting up with each other. Half of Jihoon’s stuff lived permanently at Soonyoung’s apartment, even if Jihoon didn’t technically do so himself. Soonyoung went to all of Jihoon’s work parties now, and had even managed to set Ailee from HR up on a date. Life was good.

The plan for that morning was to make Jihoon breakfast in bed. It was a Sunday morning and they had nowhere to go that day, so Jihoon was probably going to sleep until at least ten if Soonyoung let him. That gave Soonyoung plenty of time to make breakfast (time that was definitely needed—Soonyoung was not known for his cooking abilities).

Soonyoung was diligently observing the bacon to make sure it didn’t overcook when he felt a pair of slim arms wrap around his waist from the back.

“G’morning,” Jihoon slurred in his ear, obviously still half asleep. Soonyoung titled his head ever so slightly, and Jihoon took the hint and pecked him on the cheek. Soonyoung had a sudden flashback to the party a year ago, where they had been in a very similar situation. He remembered shattering the moment then, so he decided to do it again this year. It was always good to keep traditions, right?

“You smell,” he laughed. Jihoon snorted in reply, letting go of his waist so he could smack him gently on the arm. He snatched a piece of bacon out of the pan and began to munch as he practically sashayed away to go lay back down.

“Happy anniversary babe,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll be waiting for my breakfast in bed.”

Yeah, Soonyoung thought. Life was really good.

 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to give me feedback/request stuff here/at my tumblr (jisoobabe.tumblr.com)!!!


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